Author Archives: batjay

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About batjay

I am an overseas filipino worker. Now, I am part of that "babalik ka rin crowd" you see around christmas time, arriving at the NAIA in droves from all over, gold chain around their necks, in jeans and maong jacket, ray-ban shades, goatee, and baseball cap, pababa pa lang ang eroplano kinukuha na ang hand-carry luggage at nagpapalakpakan na't handang halikan ang lupa pagka-landing!

Longsilog

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dear mang boy,

ang sikreto para mapalapit ka sa pinupusuan mo ay simple lang – una, pag bisita niya sa bahay mo, dapat marami kang libro sa kwarto. pangalawa, kung sakaling ma-impress mo siya at nag spend siya ng overnight sa piling mo, kailangan marunong kang magluto dahil sinisigurado ko sa iyo na madadagdagan ang pogi points mo kung pag gising niya sa umaga eh may nakahanda ng almusal.

ingat,
unkyel batjay

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like a virgin pope

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BREAKING NEWS:

7:30 AM – according to vatican sources, pope benedict is resigning because after 86 years, he can’t stand being a virgin anymore.

7:35 AM – the obama administration just announced that hilary clinton will replace pope benedict. she will be known as pope shirley, after the singer of those popular james bond songs in the 60s and 70s

7:50 AM – i just heard that the vatican is thinking of creating a reality show to find the next pope. it’s going to be called “red hat idol”

7:55 AM – they just announced the judges for “red hat idol”, the reality show to find the next pope – it’s father, son, holy ghost and paula abdul.

Sampaloc de Asin

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sa kinaroroonan ko sa amerika, ang minatamis na sampaloc na binudburan ng asin ay parang ginintuang kayamanan. pero ang gusto kong malaman ay kung sino ba talaga sina aldrin at ariel?

magkapatid ba sila?

mag boypren?

sila ba talaga yung special o yung sampaloc ang special?

oh baby jesus, help me find the answer.

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i read the news

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pinag-uusapan namin kagabi yung paborito naming kanta sa “i read the news” ni binky at ang napili namin ay kwentong looban. kung lumaki ka sa pasay city o kahit na anong siyudad sa maynila, maiintindihan mo talaga ang titik ng kantang ito. best lines?

sa makipot na daanan
ng mainit na looban
mahirap man ang buhay
may dasal pa ring mahusay

tangina, ang haba ng pila ng mga nangangailangan ng drugs

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shopping tip #001: huwag kang pupunta sa butika ng rush hour kung gusto mong makuha agad ang drugs mo.

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cooking ng ina mo #001: Daing 2CU

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nagising ako ng maaga kanina pero imbis na magjakol eh gumawa na lang ako ng aking special super duper daing na tiyan ng bangus.

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