tanong: are you filipino?
sagot: it depends
tanong: what do you do?
sagot: fine, thank you.
tanong: no you don’t understand. what’s your job?
sagot: ahhh. i used to be a sexy macho dancer, but now i’m just a gigolo.
tanong: all filipinos are good singers. can you sing?
sagot: better than you!
tanong: can you sing “anak“?
sagot: anak ka ng ina mo!
tanong: ni shuo shenme?
sagot: i’m sorry i don’t speak chinese
tanong: how is president estrada?
sagot: fine, thank you. still in jail.
tanong: who is fernando poe?
sagot: he is flavio, ang panday
tanong: what’s the weather like in the philippines?
tanong: where is the philippines?
sagot: far away from uranus
tanong: what’s the population of the philippines?
sagot: well, there’s me and my wife. then there’s…
tanong: will i get kidnapped if i go to manila?
sagot: i’ll make sure that you do
tanong: are you abu sayyaf?
sagot: you want me to cut your fucking head off?
tanong: is the philippine economy still bad?
sagot: yes, but we smell better than you
white guy: (in a very slow condescending tone) caaaaan yooooou speeeeak eeeeenglish?
sagot: (mimicking prince charles) i say, old chap, is this english enough for you?
white guy: wow, you speak good english!
sagot: so do you
white guy: where’d you learn to speak such good english?
sagot: sesame street