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teleconference operator: “so is your first name gay or gay-gay?”

unkyel batjay: “it’s jay”

TO: ok, thanks. and your last name is “behemoth?”

UBJ: no, it’s “david” but you can call me “gay-gay behemoth”

‪#‎breakingnews‬: sa simula ng bagong taon, bawal nang manigarilyo sa lahat ng mga opisina ng pinagtatrabahuhan ko. buti naman. sabi sa memo, kung gusto pa rin daw ng mga empleyadong manigarilyo eh padaanin na lang daw ang sigarilyo sa pwet.

masarap daw yon, sabi ni mang boy, lalo na raw kapag menthol.

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special talent: ang dahilan kung bakit nabigyan si unkyel batjay ng green card ni unkyel sam.

mahal kong gobyerno ng pilipinas,

sana mahuli ninyo yung susunod kong ipapadalang balikbayan box kasi pupunuin ko ito ng tae.

nagmamahal, unkyel batjay

PS oo nga pala, kung sino man ang naka-isip na maghigpit sa mga pinapadala naming kahon sa bayang magiliw: isang malutong na putang ina mo.

#OFW #balikbayanbox #pinoy

so here’s something every elvis fan should do: send a letter using the new elvis forever stamp to a bogus address. wait a few days and it’ll comeback with a “RETURN TO SENDER” tag on the envelope #ELVIS #USPS

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Walter Brown, the star of the Philippine version of Breaking Bad
‪#‎pinoy‬ ‪#‎Philippines‬ ‪#‎OFW‬

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if you’re 5’10” and drown in a 3 foot pool, is it accidental stupidity or suicide?