milestone talaga ang pagdating ko ng 40 years old. pakiramdam ko, parang may bago na naman akong bundok na aakyatin. mas mahirap kaya ito kaysa doon sa mga inakyat ko na? natatakot ako dahil hindi na ako kasing kisig at kasing tigas titi nung binata pa ako. baka kasi hingalin ako at mahirapang umakyat. 20 years ago, ang pakiramdam ko sa sarili ko ay indestructible – kahit ano kaya kong gawin basta marating lang yung mga pinapangarap ko sa buhay. ngayon kaya? pero, enough of this “climb every mountain” figures of speech and let’s move on.
iba na ang approach ko ngayon sa buhay. mas mellow na ako at more zen like, i guess. isa pa ay ang dami ko nang tinanggal na bisyo. huminto na ako sa paninigarillo, bihira nang uminom, wala nang gimmick, hindi na umaga kung umuwi. you can say na mas “boring” na ang buhay ko ngayon. napansin ko rin na parati na akong may appointment sa doctor. binabantayan na rin lahat ng aking kinakain. regular na ang pag kuha sa blood pressure. hehehe. ganito ata talaga ang buhay ng isang middle aged man. ang susunod niyan, lalabo na rin ang mata ko tulad ng mga kaibigan kong mahilig mag jakol at kailangan ko na ring kumuha ng salamin na pang matanda. yun bang maliit na frame na halos naka kapit sa dulo ng ilong na dati-rati ay super baduy sa aking paningin.
pero what the heck. i love being 40. i really do. pakiramdam ko, i’m starting again at feel ko nga – i am looking at the world with new eyes, albeit with eyes that will soon need prescription glasses. i may not have the same stamina as before pero mas marami na akong alam ngayon. yung life experiences ko all these 40 years have given me this incredible wealth of knowledge. ang problema lang eh ironically, dala nitong pagdating ng 40 ang pagiging ulyanin kaya minsan ay nakakalimutan ko na yung incredible na kaalamang iyon. pero that’s beside the point. ang point na gusto kong sabihin ay… ah, ang gusto kong sabihin ay… teka muna taympers, nakalimutan ko na yung gusto kong sabihin. hehehe.
Batang Kaning Lamig 
Ganda talaga ng outlook mo. I can only hope when I reach my mid-30s that I’m not as pessimistic as I am today. I try to be positive but I guess I have trouble discerning the silver lining from my dark clouds.
sabi nga nila, di naman daw mahirap bundok na aakyatin mo once naabot mo na idad na ganyan pero matagal at mabagal bago ka makarating sa itaas..and once you accomplished that, pwede ka nang mag padausdos pababa….hmmm, come to think of it, mga idad natin e medyo sumisilip na ng kaunti ang retirement..
sabi nga ni diana ross eh – “eynt no mawnten hayenap”.
napakinggan mo na ba yung kanta na springsteen na “waitin on a sunny day“? if you have the opportunity, get a copy (it’s on “The Rising” CD). this song gives me hope. i love the lyrics because it speaks to my middle aged mind.
It’s rainin’ but there ain’t a cloud in the sky
Musta been a tear from your eye
Everything’ll be okay
Funny thought I felt a sweet summer breeze
Musta been you sighin’ so deep
Don’t worry we’re gonna find a way
ingat,
“when i was younger i believed that dreams came true..now i wonder…’cause i’ve seen much more dark skies than of blue, now i wonder..i keep on praying for a blue sky..i keep on searchin’ through the rain…i keep on thinkin’ of the good times, will they ever come again..now i wonder..now i wonder…
bossing thanks for the tip… i’m not really familiar with Sting’s music but i’ll try it…. Siguro part of the problem is my background music’s always Metallica.
😉
it’s actually a bruce springsteen song, not sting. although sting’s a great artist as well. so is metallica by the way. as much as possible i listen to as much music as i can – i love them all.