An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Chimney’s clogged.

Doesn’t have all her dogs on one leash.

Doesn’t know much, bot leads the league in nostril hair.

Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

Forgot to pay her brain bill.

Her sewing machine’s out of thread.

Her antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.

Her belt doesn’t go through all the loops.

If she had another brain, it would be lonely.

Missing a few buttons on her remote control.

No grain in the silo.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

She has less going on upstairs than a one story house.

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

Skylight leaks a little.

Slinky’s kinked.

Surfing in Nebraska.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

Dumber than a box of hair.

A few peas short of a casserole.

Doesn’t have all his corn flakes in one box.

The wheel are spinning, but the hamster’s dead.

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

One taco short of a combination plate.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

All foam, no beer.

The cheese slid off her cracker.

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

The lights are on, but nobody’s home.

24 cents short of a quarter.

A few bricks shy of a full load.